If you have spent any time in the wedding industry at all, after a while, you do things, well, just because that’s how it’s always been done. You order a cake, you have a bouquet to toss, and then there’s that “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue” thing. Courtesy of some really cool sites on wedding history, I found the following information. Some of these traditions have really meaningful origins, others are kind of wacky, but all are interesting. Enjoy!
The Engagement Ring
This tradition dates back to classical times when it was thought that the fourth finger on the left hand contained the “vena amoris” or the “vein of love”. The idea of the engagement is attributed to the Catholics in 1215 when the Pope called for a longer time between betrothal and marriage. Basic rings of gold, silver or iron were used and gems were incorporated over the years. Gems were reserved for the aristocracy and eventually made their way into the middle class.
One tradition follows that rings should use the birthstones of the bride and her parents (on the left) and the groom and his parents (on the right). It would follow mothers on the outside, fathers on the inside and the bride and groom adjacent in the center.
De Beers is credited today with popularizing the diamond engagement ring, instilling “A Diamond Is Forever” into the hearts of young men and women everywhere, standardizing the diamond engagement ring in the middle of the 20th century. The first diamond engagement ring ever given was by Arch Duke Maximillian to Mary of Burgundy in 1477.
Diamond engagement rings used to only be popular in the United States and parts of Europe until WWII when soldiers who were in Japan met many of their wives there. Many Japanese women received diamond engagement rings from their GI fiances, and this led to the adoption of diamond engagement rings in Japanese culture.
The Wedding Cake
The history of the wedding cake goes back as far as the Roman Empire, well before the concept of elaborately icing a cake, was invented. Through the years, the wedding cake has become the focus of a variety of customs and traditions. Some of these customs have survived through time. Some have not. The custom of breaking the cake over the bride’s head, is no longer practiced. The tradition may have its roots as far back as the Roman Empire. The groom would eat part of a loaf of barley bread baked especially for the nuptials and break the rest over his bride’s head. History tells us that breaking the bread symbolized the breaking of the bride’s virginal state and the subsequent dominance of the groom over her. As wedding cakes evolved into the larger, more modern version, it became physically impractical to properly break the cake over the bride’s head. The tradition disappeared fairly quickly in some places, but there were still reports of breaking an oatcake or other breakable cakes over the bride’s head in Scotland, in the 19th century. It’s reported that in Northern Scotland, friends of the bride would put a napkin over her head and then proceed to pour a basket of bread over her. It’s hard to say why some traditions endure and some do not, but the obvious male chauvinistic bent of this particular tradition probably leads to its early demise.
In Medieval England, cakes were described as breads which were flour-based foods without sweetening. No accounts tell of a special type of cake appearing at wedding ceremonies. There are, however, stories of a custom involving stacking small sweet buns in a large pile in front of the newlyweds. The couple would attempt to kiss over the pile. Success in the process was a sign that there would be many children in their future. .
First appearing in the middle of the17th century and well into the early 19th century, was a popular dish called the bride’s pie. The pie was filled with sweet breads, a mince pie, or may have been merely a simple mutton pie. A main “ingredient” was a glass ring. An old adage claimed that the lady who found the ring would be the next to be married. Bride’s pies were by no means universally found at weddings, but there are accounts of these pies being made into the main centerpiece at less affluent ceremonies. The name “bride cakes” emphasized that the bride was the focal point of the wedding. Many other objects also were given the prefix “bride,” such as the bride bed, bridegroom and bridesmaid..
By the late 19th century, wedding cakes became really popular, and the use of the bride’s pie disappeared. Early cakes were simple single-tiered plum cakes, with some variations. It was a while before the first multi-tiered wedding cake of today appeared in all its glory..
The notion of sleeping with a piece of cake underneath one’s pillow dates back as far as the 17th century and quite probably forms the basis for today’s tradition of giving cake as a “gift.” Legend has it that sleepers will dream of their future spouses if a piece of wedding cake is under their pillow. In the late 18th century this notion led to the curious tradition in which brides would pass tiny crumbs of cake through their rings and then distribute them to guests who could, in turn, place them under their pillows. The custom was curtailed when brides began to get superstitious about taking their rings off after the ceremony..
In the minds of most people, wedding cakes are “supposed to be” white. The symbolism attached to the color white, makes explaining this tradition rather simple. White has always denoted purity, a notion as it relates to white wedding cake icing that first appeared in Victorian times. Another way in which a white wedding cake relates to the symbol of purity, has its basis in the fact that the wedding cake was originally referred to as the bride’s cake. This not only highlighted the bride as the central figure of the wedding, but also created a visual link between the bride and the cake. Today, that link is being further strengthened as more contemporary brides have their wedding cakes coordinated with their wedding gown color, even if it’s not white!.
Previous to Victorian times, most wedding cakes were also white, but not because of the symbolism. Using the color white for icing had a more pragmatic basis. Ingredients were very difficult to come by, especially those required for icing. White icing required the use of only the finest refined sugar, so the whiter the cake, the more affluent the families appeared. It was due to this fact that a white wedding cake became an outward symbol of affluence..
Wedding cakes take center stage in the traditional cake cutting ceremony, symbolically the first task that bride and groom perform jointly as husband and wife. This is one tradition that most of us have witnessed many times. The first piece of cake is cut by the bride with the “help” of the groom. This task originally was delegated exclusively to the bride. It was she who cut the cake for sharing with her guests. Distributing pieces of cake to one’s guests is a tradition that also dates back to the Roman Empire and continues today. Following the tradition of breaking the bread over the bride’s head, guests would scramble for crumbs that fell to the ground. Presumably the consumption of such pieces ensured fertility. But, as numbers of wedding party guests grew, so did the size of the wedding cake, making the distribution process impossible for the bride to undertake on her own. Cake cutting became more difficult with early multi-tiered cakes, because the icing had to be hard enough to support the cake’s own weight. This, of necessity, made cutting the cake a joint project. After the cake cutting ceremony, the couple proceed to feed one other from the first slice. This provides another lovely piece of symbolism, the mutual commitment of bride and groom to provide for one another..
The Groom’s Cake is a tradition that was prevalent in early American ceremonies, but seems to have fallen from favor in most contemporary weddings. The groom’s cake was usually dark (e.g., chocolate) to contrast with the bride’s cake. The groom’s cake appeared at the reception along with the wedding cake. The origin of this tradition is unclear. Some believe it was to be served by the groom, with a glass of wine, to the bridesmaids. Others believe it was to be saved and subsequently shared with friends after the honeymoon. The tradition seems to have survived primarily in the South..
The once simple wedding cake has evolved into what today is a multi-tiered extravaganza. The multi-tiered wedding cake was originally reserved for English royalty. Even for the nobility, the first multi-tiered cakes were real in appearance only. Their upper layers were mockups made of spun sugar. Once the problem of preventing the upper layers from collapsing into the lower layers was solved, a real multi-tiered wedding cake could be created. Pillars as decoration existed long before multi-tiered cakes appeared, so it was a natural progression for cake bakers to try using pillars as a way to support the upper tiers. To prevent the pillars from sinking into the bottom tier, icing was hardened to provided the necessary support. .
There is hardly a bride today who can’t resist saving the top layer of her multi-tiered cake. Most couples freeze the cake with the intention of sharing it on their first wedding anniversary. The tradition has its roots in the late 19th century when grand cakes were baked for christenings. It was assumed that the christening would occur soon after the wedding ceremony, so the two ceremonies were often linked, as were the cakes. With wedding cakes becoming more and more fancy and elaborate, the christening cake quickly took a back seat to the wedding cake. When three-tiered cakes became popular, the top tier was often left over. A subsequent christening provided a perfect opportunity to finish the cake. Couples could then logically rationalize the need for three tiers — the bottom tier for the reception, the middle tier for distributing and the top for the christening. As the time between the weddings and the christenings widened, the two events became disassociated, and the reason for saving the top tier changed. Regardless of the underlying reason, when the couple finally does eat the top tier, it serves as a very pleasant reminder of what was their very special day.
The Wedding Veil
It is customary for the bride to wear a veil as part of her ensemble. Traditionally, the groom is not supposed to see the bride during the day of the wedding until she walks down the aisle. It’s considered bad luck. In much older times, the veil was a requirement so that the groom did not see the bride’s face before the ceremony was complete; this way he would not have the opportunity to change his mind about marrying her if he did not like the way she looked.
The White Wedding Dress
The tradition for the bride to wear white began in the 16th century and is still commonly followed today. This is a symbol of the bride’s purity and her worthiness of her groom. The tradition became solidified during the time of Queen Victoria who rebelled against the royal tradition for Royal brides to wear silver. Instead, the queen preferred the symbolism which is expressed by wearing white. The brides of the time quickly emulated the queen, and the tradition has continued in full force to this day.
The Wedding Date
According to an old legend, the month in which you marry may have some bearing on the fate of the marriage:
“Married when the year is new, he’ll be loving, kind and true;
When February birds do mate, you wed nor dread your fate;
If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you’ll know;
Marry in April when you can, joy for Maiden and for Man;
Marry in the month of May, and you’ll surely rue the day;
Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you will go;
Those who in July do wed, must labor for their daily bred;
Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see;
Marry in September’s shrine, your living will be rich and fine;
If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry;
If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember;
When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last”.
For centuries the month of June has been the most popular choice for weddings – but the original reason might surprise you. You see, during the 1400 -1500s, May was the month in which the “annual bath” occurred. Yes, just as it sounds, back then people were only able to bathe thoroughly once each year. As such, since the over-all population was smelling relatively fresh in June, it was a good time to hold a special event like a wedding! Further, the month of June is named after the goddess Juno, who was the Roman counterpart to Hera, the goddess of the hearth and home, and patron of wives.
The Bouquet Toss
In the 14th century, it was customary for the bride to toss her garter to the men, but sometimes the men got too drunk, and would become impatient and try to take the garter off her ahead of time. (Eventually the groom got into the act and saved his bride from the unruly mob…we hope). All the same, it got to less trouble for her to toss her bridal bouquet instead.
Tie The Knot
This wonderful expression originated from Roman times when the bride wore a girdle that were tied in knots which the groom had the fun of untying. As a side note, this phrase can also refer to the tying of the knot in Handfasting Ceremonies, which were often performed without the benefit of a clergy.
Honeymoon
There is an old European custom that newlyweds drink one cup of fermented mead made from honey each day of the first month-moon. That’s where we get “Honeymoon”.
Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue
Something old symbolizes perpetuity and longevity: both excellent qualities in a marriage.
Something new represents optimism, happiness, and a fresh start into the future.
Something borrowed represents using family and friends to help you in your relationship and that having a strong family and friend connection is key to the strength of marriage. Never being afraid to ask for help when needed.
Blue has since classical times represented purity, faithfulness, love and good luck. Blue is characterized as strong, steadfast and steady: all of the things marriage is based off of. Brides used to wear something blue, or a blue ring at the bottom of their dress, to symbolize the power of blue in their future.
And then there is always the popular alternative—go to Vegas, find the chapel with Elvis to perform the ceremony, and then hit the endless buffets and tables!
